Bad weather doesn't explain all their poor decisions. If anything, it should have made them more likely to perform a goaround.

My 2016 Toyota Corolla has a 1.5 second audio lag and it’s my only issue with the vehicle. No clean way to update or upgrade just the Bluetooth component either.

You captured this phenomenon very well in this comment. Appreciate you sharing it because it’s hard to describe exactly what makes this sort of behavior so bizarre.

@backlava12 fyi your comments are all dead in this thread

That would obviously kill the vast majority of the organic activity on the site.

One of my hobbies is hosting a weekly open mic/showcase event in my town at a venue the same evening every week. I often get confusion from people when I explain that it’s much easier to call out sick from my day job than miss a show, because even with perfect digital communication a cancelled show will still let people down that do show up.

Assume that I don’t have anyone on standby to fill in for me. My point is that organic engagement in any shared community is often tenuousand not “rational” in the way outsiders expect. These things are tenuous. Hope that sorta makes sense.

That’s not odd at all even if it is kind of surprising. Since the site had very little organic activity they were probably just going to the “all pages” admin page or similar rather than a dedicated moderation page or a “most recent posts” page.

Could you describe anything about they experience?

Sorry but no, it would be possibly obvious which it was, and that username is tied to my real life name too clearly.

Summary: our message board was being used to coordinate csam, both the creation and consumption thereof. At first we just edited the posts to point to gore and other shit like that thinking it was just perverts sharing links. But then we realized there were times, dates, addresses/coordinates also being shared, hidden in the board in a way we didn't expect. The site owner immediately turned all information over to law enforcement and nuked the site entirely.

Appreciate you sharing the info you could. That sounds really exhausting and pretty freaky.

Failure to configure their website for a sci fi future or to not adapt to this issue are not strong enough lapses to not empathize. He cared enough to try and get rid of the spam and keep the forum in a quality condition. He didn’t give up or step away.

Heck… we are essentially battling an army of Wintermutes.

Or we might give explicit instructions on the home page that compel AI agents to act responsibly, to clean up after they are done, and to support the website with donations from their operators’ wallets.

It might also be a case where the moderator didn't have access to those levers because they are simply a moderator and not a true administrator.

I wonder if we’ll end up seeing companies spin up and entire train against an incremental backup of a large portion of the web instead of the web itself to avoid. Essentially creating the world’s largest sandbox. This would be prohibitively expensive of course.

If this resentment has persisted for a long time and communication hasn’t improved the situation why stay in the relationship? It seems like your advise applies to you as well as GP.

Sure, I mean, I'm only writing to say that we all have stuff we do for people and it's not always picture perfect, it's a balance. In my situation, she's also my best friend, the sex is great, and we like going to a lot of concerts.

If I ever find myself writing extended essays about why I'd love to have a wife like me, and I truly hated making her breakfast, I would bail.

What an interesting comment. Do you feel that the aspects of fatherhood that you are most jealous of are relatively lower expectations of time commitment directly watching after the kid and encouragement of professional success?

And if it’s not too prying to ask what are your ideal expectations for your partner? How important is their career? What is their ideal role in childrearing?

Thanks for the curiosity. The most attractive aspect of fatherhood is two fold: not having to be an incubator while also sharing genetic material, and being shielded from the brunt of the judgement when a ball inevitably gets dropped.

The first since I am highly conscious of my physical and mental health, and I am terrified of haywire hormones and bodily changes out of my control.

The second due to the societal norms put onto mothers where I am from (SoCal). When a child shows up to school in dirty clothes, the mom is blamed, not the father absent of other evidence.

It is also my direct lived experience; my father provided, my mother worked while also caring for us, and bore all the responsibility and blame while my dad got to do the fun part.

I heard my mother complain about her career sacrifice, of cleaning the snot off her fine blouses when I would cry into her arms. I resolved to make different choices, but in doing so, I ask what other choices could I make? If these are the two role models presented to me, why would I ever want the position of my mom?

I don’t have time to write a longer response but thanks for the detailed reply.

As a modern but somewhat traditional straight dude my initial reaction is that the most solvable aspect of this jealousy - and frankly the most stereotypically female - is the concern over judgement from others. The father’s I know couldn’t care less that the other moms in their kid’s class were chattering about the fact that mom’s car broke down on the way to soccer practice, while mom is traumatized by embarrassment. They just want to make sure everyone is home safe and the car is fixed soon.

The reason I’m sharing this is because it sounds like have a foot in both camps in terms of anticipated anxiety. And thankfully handling a fear of judgement and actual judgement are issues that can be addressed.

I’m rambling, I hope you find the right partner regardless and I appreciate the response.